I'm feeling this morning like this whole problem with shame is something that Father is leading me to ponder deeply, once again, at least for a moment? Who knows how long that moment will last? I hadn't even tied together the fact that I had just ordered the new revised version of Wayne Jacobsen's book He Loves Me, but this morning I woke up with that book on my mind. I don't have the new copy yet that has some additional thoughts from Wayne, so I grabbed the original copy and I am going to begin reading anyway.
If our thinking is wrong about this God we say we want to know and want others to know, what we present to the world in word and deed about him will be more about our skewed view of him then it will be the reality of who he really is.
In a conversation with a friend this morning talking about some of this stuff, this whole notion of using love as a weapon came up. If we are using love as a weapon....shame, guilt, fear, unworthiness and so forth, in an attempt to conform some one's behavior, and it being with held by us or the god we "know," based upon some one's performance within a moral code or ethic, it is not love we are thinking about and it certainly, at least to me, doesn't seem to be consistent with the message of Jesus.
Call me crazy if you want for desiring to go down this path of pondering that seems to be so "off the farm" to what most of religion tells folks today. But you know what? The God I am coming to know, is trust worthy enough, and is big enough, to allow me to ask such questions.....Even if I am "off the farm"!!!!!!! I'm learning that it is in this trusting relationship with a Father that loves me UNCONDITIONALLY and allows me to think and explore as a child does, it is there that I learn to walk. Tripping and stumbling is allowed.