Wednesday, December 31, 2008
This post was inspired by Ellie. It is her quote in the title. After the conversation that I describe below, those were her words to me. So here's the blog post Ellie.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Last night myself and my wife had the pleasure of providing a place for Eric and Tayna Rogers and their children to spend the night as they made their way back home to Atlanta from their time spent in Iowa for Christmas.
Tanya and I met on the forums many months ago and have been communicating through PMs, emails, text messages, and phone calls ever since. It was so much fun finally getting to sit in the same room with her and Eric and their beautiful children. The evening was so blessed with wonderful conversations about this most wonderful journey we all find ourselves on together as we learn to live inside the relationship with Father Son and Spirit. The very place we belong. It really was as if we had known each other forever.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
They come from the wild. Let me introduce you to another gardener that has inspired me. Dan Hinkley is an explorer. He use to guide, and probably still does, plant exploration trips throughout wild places all over the world. I've always wanted to go on one of those trips.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I wish I had a video of Over The Rhine's song Firefly to add here. I remember hearing Linford explain the concept behind the song as being this idea of learning something so deeply that the possibility of forgetting it becomes impossible. I like that and I'm feeling like I have begun to experience some awakenings that this very much applies to.
This past weekend with my girls and how I am learning to relate to them as a father and friend is just one such example. It was also a reminder of how things we have learned and how those things are still being worked into us is a process. Grace is the power that transforms us.
Here is something else that I have learned and this ended up being a big help over the weekend. And if this isn't grace I don't know what is. I felt like I had one of those moments this weekend similar to Peter when he made the promise to Jesus that he wouldn't deny him...only to find himself doing just that. I can relate to Peter when it comes to the moments when the rubber hits the road and we come face to face with two choices. To go with the new reality that has become so real or to slip back into a rut that had been formed in years past and feels familiar. Jesus' response to Peter should put us at ease in knowing that he has us covered and he is working in us to complete the restoration he has set in motion. "I know Kent...and I had already prayed for you so that you would be strengthened and in turn would be able to help encourage and strengthen others."
Here's what I am learning in all of this and many of the things I have faced over the past few years. To give people a break and to not be so hard on them for the messes they create. And to always remember to give myself a break also. I'm not the author of this nor will I be the finisher of it. But I certainly want to be a co-laborer with Father Son and Spirit in the process they have us all in. I'm counting on grace.....the way I am seeing it, there is no other way through.
"His gaze moved over the garden that surrounded them. "But it really is beautiful, and full of you, Sarayu. Even though it seems like lots of work still needs done, I feel strangely at home and comfortable here."The two looked at each other and grinned. Sarayu stepped toward him until she had invaded his personal space. "And well you should, Mackenzie, because this garden is your soul. This mess is you! Together, you and I, we have been working with a purpose in your heart. And it is wild and beautiful and perfectly in process. To you it seems like a mess, but to me, I see a perfect pattern emerging and growing and alive---a living fractal." The Shack
(The picture above was taken during a very messy time while we were in Disney 3 years ago this month)....I'm learning to see these girls and myself for who we are...beautiful, messy, living fractals in process
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
To continue a bit more thinking in regards to the past couple posts, this excerpt from a conversation from The Shack fully applies. In the midst of the chaos, this was at least one of the things I was able to talk with my oldest daughter about. Whether she could see it in the heat of the moment, which I'm sure she couldn't, hopefully it is one of those things that is sinking into her head and heart. It's become so much a part of my understanding and I live so aware of the reality it conveys. My daughters hear of this on a regular basis from me these days.
I've come to see clearly that most people are fighters when it comes to what they perceive to be true, whether it is or not. Even those that tend to avoid confrontation are still in a mode of protecting what they believe. Beliefs are things that demand protecting.
What a deep dark destructive hole it is that sucks us in when we allow our perceptions to blind us and embolden us and keep us from being able to look at the situation critically.
Monday, December 22, 2008
This weekend wearing my hat as a father could be described as Beauty and The Beast. This weekend the same description works for my three daughters also. Let's just say that their behavior from Saturday evening through Sunday morning sent me into micro-managing mode, something I haven't done in quite awhile. Something I really never want to do again. I used to live there and I'm not going back. Scott, it wasn't pretty. But my oh my did I ever feel justified while in the midst of their ugly behavior with one another and a couple other people involved in the weekend. That is until I could see how my reactions to their behavior was cutting through them also and creating something I never want them to feel coming from me.
I have a lot to learn when it comes to helping them out of a cycle that is all too familiar due to the reality that they see it being employed by most people they come into contact with in this world. People hurting other people by just being mean. This weekend it just set me off because none of them would respond to my attempts to get them to down shift and change course. One was threatening to just shut down and refuse to be in the wedding which I knew would haunt her for the rest of her life because she has waited for this wedding to happen for many years. Other than reminding her of how much she would regret it at a later date all I could tell her was that it was her choice to make...I would not force her to do it.
And out of the chaos Sunday morning a few moments of grace emerged. A couple of the individuals involved decided to make a move towards others they had offended and hurt in an attempt to make it right. All I said to the one that had been threatening to be a hold out was this: "Now the ball is in your court. Will you accept their move and in turn make a move towards them?" Within minutes there were hugs of forgiveness being shared all around and laughter and joy replaced the screeching and ugliness that had consumed everyone beginning the night before.
How is it that we all have had these two drastically different experiences on countless occasions and we all hate how the one makes us feel and how it leaves others feeling and we all love how we and other are left feeling while experiencing the other and yet we so easily gravitate to the ugliness and often refuse to change course? That's what left me so pissed off during the chaos of the weekend. And yet I learned once again my anger is no help at all in helping others see a more better way.
The wedding was beautiful and all the girls looked beautiful and if grace had not won out in the end this hilarious fun memorable moment would have never happened.
Two of the three in the pink dresses are mine. Amie, my oldest, who was also in the wedding is standing in the back with a friend of hers. The bouquet goes right through Amie's hands and Ellie plows through to come away with the prize.
Scott, once again I came face to face with the reality that this is all about grace.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
"I suppose since most of our hurts come through relationships so will our healing and I know grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside."
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
How in the world have we so lost the revelation of God through Jesus, that we have been liberated, and instead traded it for a belief that makes it all about a God that bosses us around and forces us to conform and if we don't he becomes the ultimate tormentor?
Freedom is of ultimate importance. If we can't find enough freedom to reconsider who God really is, and who we are in him, we will remain stuck in a restrictive retarding system of belief that is completely impotent in liberating anyone from anything.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Love has to do with trust while compulsion has to do with fear.
I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear
Sunday, December 14, 2008
(First verse: Traditional. Additional Words and Music: Detweiler)
O little town of Bethlehem
How still we see thee lie
Above thy dark and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight
The lamplit streets of Bethlehem
We walk now through the night
There is no peace in Bethlehem
There is no peace in sight
The wounds of generations
Almost too deep to heal
Scar the timeworn miracle
And make it seem surreal
The baby in the manger
Grew to a man one day
And still we try to listen now
To what he has to say
Put up your swords forever
Forgive your enemies
Love your neighbor as yourself
Let your little children come to me
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I've so had my fill of consumerism. This just happens to be another one of those things I am so grateful for the freedom I began to find back a few years ago. When the reality of something so much more wonderful sneaks up on you, the absurdity of the "covert curriculum" (as one controversial author describes it) begins to been seen as....well, absurd. I used to enjoy the clever creativity of commercials. I really don't anymore because all I see is how I had been manipulated all those years by it.
We have been set up and it's due to the fact that our economic system is dependant on us falling for the lie. We have to spend to feed the machine so as to keep it healthy. What's so sick about all of that is that the machine is actually feeding on us and in the process taking from us what we all really long for.
I feel freer today in regards to all of this but not yet free. I am free in the sense that it no longer controls me by manipulating me through my mind and senses. That really does feel wonderful. But there still is this thing called necessity that takes on a specific flavor that is determined by the reality that I am living in a consumerist version of the beast. But as I mentioned in the last post, there is a Wind that is never stagnant and that Wind is completely free and unaffected by the covert curriculum and moves by the direction of someone wholly Other.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Monday, December 08, 2008
Sunday, December 07, 2008
- Jacques Ellul, The Politics of God and the Politics of Man
After listening to The Drew Marshall Show yesterday and the conversation he had with Wayne Jacobsen, Paul Young, and Bruxy Cavey and after a little chat I had last night on Facebook with Bruxy I decided to revisit some content from Bruxy's book The End of Religion today. My day has been immersed in the podcasts he did awhile back going chapter by chapter through the book. I feel a little more of Jesus this evening and the difficulty of the things Jesus said and lived/lives. It was nothing new in regards to where Jesus has had me for the past few years, it's just really humbling in light of how far off the Church here in North America is with Jesus and his message.
When will the Church in this nation come to understand that earthly power not only doesn't look good on her it has left her bankrupt? There is something so life changing to be found in Jesus for those who empty their hands of power.
Here are some of my friends that have been a help to me along the way as Jesus was recapturing my imagination over the past few years. Repenting of the old operating paradigm and laying it down became vital so I could begin to see better the one he operates from.
Friday, December 05, 2008
I wrote what is above on a piece of paper this morning right after I arrived at work. It just happened to be what was on my mind. What follows happened towards the end of my day at work which I thought was pretty cool.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
"When people assume the position of moral guardians of the culture, they invite---they earn!---the charge of hypocrisy. For all judgement, save the judgement of the omniscient and holy God, involves hypocrisy. Whenever we "eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil"---this is, whenever we find some element of worth, significance, and purpose in contrasting ourselves as "good" with the others we deem "evil"--we do so in a self-serving and selective manner. We always bend the tree, as it were, to our own advantage and, as a result, we do the exact opposite of what Jesus taught us to do. Instead of seeing our own sins as worse than others, we invariably set up a list of sins in which our sins are deemed minor while the other people's sins are deemed major. We may have dust particles in our eyes, we reason, but at least we don't have tree trunks like "those people." Unlike the tax collector who made no moral claims for himself, we thank the Lord we are not like other people just as the Pharisee did (Luke 18:9-14)."
And it's true that he went away but that wasn't the end of his story and his time with us. He has opened up something so much better...what a mystery that one is.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
You can read a description of Planthropology here and maybe get a sense of why I enjoy Ken Druse.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
"I suppose since most of our hurts come through relationships so will our healing and I know grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside."
I am so overwhelmed with God's patience. I grew up hearing about his patience all my life but it always had a sick twist to it. He really was just holding back all the rage because of what Jesus had done and yet if I didn't measure up I was still going to have hell to pay. As I awakened to God's constant work taking place in me...loving me...as he has been doing all along, a wonderful healing shift began to happen...I began seeing him for who he is...Father. And he is not abusive. As my perception of him began to change, the relationship began to change from a relationship that was causing hurt and damage, to a relationship that began to heal every part of my being. Yep, grace doesn't make sense to those who are still living within the perception that gets shaped into us by the quid pro quo universe we live in. But grace is still what it has always been.
So, if the false perceptions of God that have kept us from seeing him as the Father he truly is, and in turn, had kept that relationship from being the way he desires it to be...wonder how our false perceptions within our human relationships effect them? I lived 42 years oblivious even to that question. I was very aware of there being a problem...but I hadn't a clue as to why. It's why relationships are so hurtful and damaging. It keeps us from seeing the beauty of the person standing in front of us because we are left in all our fear and pain and it keeps grace from ever becoming a reality.
Well, Jesus did come to change the paradigm. He showed us Father...not a distant god that we were suppose to be working out some kind of a relationship with based in fear and unworthiness, a god who only wanted to be with us because he had to now in light of what his son had done. Religious training/shaping has kept this sick hurtful paradigm alive for too long and pawned it off on people as if it represents a healthy relationship. No wonder people shaped by religion are some of the most uncaring, unloving, demanding people in the world and no wonder relationships aren't any healthier among them then among people outside the influence of religion...as if being outside the influence of religion is even possible. The harsh example is everywhere.
So here we are in a world where we must relate to people. I think it is our choice as to how we proceed to do that and I also think we must take ownership of all that flows from us due to how we choose to proceed. If most hurts come from relationships and most of our healing will also come from relationships, what changes that?
It's the grace that makes no sense for those looking in from the outside, but once it is tasted in all it's glory as it flows from God the Father to us as individuals and that relationship becomes what he has always desired it to be...we become individuals that can't help but relate to the others around us in the same gracious loving way.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
The background has to do with the pain of Ellie's 13th year. It was the year that we eventually decided to pull her out of the Christian school with five weeks left and bring her back home to finish school due to the pain she was living through having had her three best friends turn on her and begin to ignore and exclude her. I still remember several days when I pulled up to the school to pick her up and I knew the minute the car door closed she would breakdown in tears with the pain spilling out all over. She made it through that time and at 15 Ellie is a pretty strong young lady and still so full of compassion. Two of those three girls are again today her closest friends and it is so much fun to watch the three of them interact with each other.
So here's the song and the lyrics. She changed the verse about the brother to being about her sisters.
THE BEST DAY
I'm five years old and it's getting cold
I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you
I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides
Look now the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home
I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today
I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop till I forget their names
I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel ok
But I know I had the best day with you today
I have an excellent father
His strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my two sisters
Inside and out they're better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house and i had space to run
And I had the best days with you
There is a video i found from back when i was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world
Now I know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine and I didn't know if you knew
So I'm taking this chance to say that I had the best day with you today
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
take note of all the fearful future tripping being spread around by such articles and as we go through the next four or eight years it would be interesting to also take note of how many of them actually happen and how many of them don't. I agree that praying for our leaders is a wise thing to do....but I don't let such articles guide me.
I have thought about this many times since that day, as I have mentioned the same thing to others I have been in conversation with when I have heard them doing the same thing.....running with wild speculations and assumptions made by others that usually only produce imaginations of things they fear. This all strikes at the heart of whether we are interested in reality....or illusion that personally take on the weight of reality and mess with us in ways we can't even begin to imagine.
Monday, November 24, 2008
If Law is the operating paradigm, consistency means applying the rules equally to everyone in every situation (even ourselves). Try as hard as one might try to do this...history and personal experience proves that it is just not going to happen. And even if the desired end product of uniformity was possible to achieve...how boring and unlivable it would be.
If love and grace is the paradigm from which we live, consistency takes on such a different meaning/feeling altogether. All the models are useless. There is no pattern to follow and end product is no longer the focus. Turns out that the process is where life in all it's wonder and messiness and pain happens.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Sales are now nearing 5 million copies in North America alone...and still climbing and is in it's 26th week at #1 on The NYT Bestseller List.
"Most emotions are responses to perception---what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So, check your perceptions, and beyond that check the truthfulness of your paradigms---what you believe. Just because you believe something firmly doesn't make it true. Be willing to reexamine what you believe. The more you live in the truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly. But even then, you don't want to trust them more than me."
Okay, this is my third attempt at a blog post today. I always know when I feel like posting here but today two have gone up only to be removed shortly after I posted them because it just didn't feel right. I've come to trust those nudges and always want to respond to them when I feel them.
I stumbled upon the youtube video of my friends, Paul, Wayne, and Brad talking about The Shack and while watching it the excerpt from The Shack I posted above came to mind. It actually sums up much better what I attempted to share earlier in the two posts I abandoned. Both those posts were about destructive false perceptions that have a way of keeping people stuck, yet blinded to that reality because of the use of the familiar justifications. People end up being hurt over and over because the cycle is left intact.
The familiar justifications keep people from being willing to reexamine what they believe and keeps the illusions alive because they take on the weight of being reality. When stuck in that place, forget about seeing clearly. I love how a line from the song in the last post describes it:
You’d think we were blind, the things we can see through
The things we look past when emboldened inside.
For the average individual to have the courage to reconsider everything they have grown up believing is certainly a difficult step. For the individual that has been shaped by religion to do so seems to be an even tougher proposition. Add to that religious paradigm a political paradigm and you have a real strong toxic cocktail of fear and dangerous extreme confidence to overcome.
I guess it all comes down to how well someone can work the illusion so as to keep it somewhat believable or when they begin to fall apart that Father Son and Spirit have become big enough and real enough to where abandoning the illusions/lies and the false perceptions along with the false security that are a part of them and stepping out into the unknown actually begins to make sense. That leap can be very scary but when you fall into the loving secure arms of Father you will be left wondering why you didn't do it a long time ago.
Wonderful healthy relationships await.
Friday, November 21, 2008
It was also interesting for that story to come up today just being 6 days out from the three year anniversary of coming face to face with the unexpected. I mentioned to him it was just a bit shocking to come to understand that I had been mistaken in thinking I had built a good life on the Rock when in actuality it was sitting on sinking/shifting sand. This isn't about building a life in order to find some security and squeezing everyone into it, hoping God blesses it. It really is about losing such a life that will never be secure and in the process of having the clutter cleared and seeing for the first time the Secure One.
Some music from around that time also came to mind yesterday that is such a fitting reminder. It's been wonderful listening.
Remember how we chased it like shadows
Life was the ocean; we wanted to swim
Looking back now, it’s just how the path goes
They tell you it’s over; you never begin
We don’t give ourselves time - the way that we used to
To watch it all happen, unfolding in sighs
You’d think we were blind, the things we can see through
The things we look past when emboldened inside
But it’s alright now, it’s alright
The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides
The sound of our sorrows has stirred us inside
(But) I think maybe I’ve never felt more alive
I asked you just once if you thought we could be found
You never did tell me; but I think I know now
Whatever ship comes, by dark sea or gray cloud
As long as the well’s deep, we make it somehow
I don’t know how to make peace or find it
We’re most of us stories we’re scared to explain
But what if there’s sound, somewhere caught behind this
A song we can sing while we’re lying awake
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Why is it that the people that are used as examples in many of the parables Jesus told about the kingdom, not the ones who we would say lived moral lives and the ones he seemed to always be turning this around on were the so-called "moral" ones?
I am convinced that the gospel of Jesus Christ has been subverted and in it's place today we have the ideology of the religion of Christianity.
The quote that follows is from The Subversion Of Christianity by Jacques Ellul....one of his books I have yet to read.
Mike, if you are reading this post, I know you are reading this book......care to share?
"Christianity claims not to be a religion that is superior to others, but to be an antireligion that refutes all the religions that link us with a divine universe. No doubt Christianity constantly becomes a religion…The Christian religion itself is constantly called into question by the absolute that is revealed in Jesus Christ."
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
During my first 15 years of parenting I was all about achieving stability. Well the 15th year blew those plans out of the water....thank God.
I'm no longer interested in the absence of conflict through some form of fear or punishment based behavior modification. I'm interested in harmony and that is a product of love...not law. People can learn to live with one another without killing each other but that doesn't mean they have learned how to love one another and it certainly doesn't mean they aren't violating one another in a number of different ways.
Honorable Relations is what I desire for my daughters and for myself with my daughters. Since the experience of my 15th year of parenting and the challenges to all my former paradigms, much has changed....drastically. Sometimes it still leaves my wife scratching her head. Sorry Julie. She really has been a pretty good sport through all of the changes since I injested that "red pill" that year :) hehe
So many wonderful world view changing things happened in my 16 year of being a parent and this little blog post by Tim Neufeld and the mention of Honorable Relations was one of them. It really did set in motion a brand new way of living with these three lovely ladies and then spread out into all my other relationships.
All you bloggers out there remember that. You never know what little post you make that might seem rather insignificant to you that just might be something that sets in motion some beautiful changes in someone elses life...and family.
Where Is The Love? by Tim Nuefeld.......I came to know Tim through our mutual appreciation and love for U2 and all they do.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
I've been in a funk since early this morning. A people funk. Something that really hasn't happened to me in awhile. The things that get thought up in the human mind and then accepted as reality makes living with one another a wild adventure/trip to say the least. Today I had become so sick of the fear filled future tripping of my fellow human beings and it took me most of the day to figure out that it was that which had me so agitated. Here's some weirdness....Cheap Trick, one of my favorite bands from the past helped me figure out why I was feeling like I was feeling. The video follows.
People will believe anything it seems and then they feel it's their job to run around (thinking they are helping) dumping at the feet of everyone they see, all the world's shit/lies/future imaginations they have picked up and are now carrying around and freaking out about. And I'm sorry for saying it, and this might be one of my faulty perceptions, but I think religion produces the worst offenders. I've said it before but I'll say it again.....religious training malforms people. I am so sick of hearing over and over and over from the conservative voices and those shaped by the conservative voices, that God's judgement is now on this nation because the population has elected the most godless man to ever be the president. To which I have to ask....like the conservatives that have gone before have been such wonderful representatives of godliness? Some good advice seems to be that we all might benefit from a long hard honest look at our own perceptions/paradigms...the ones that leave us in fear and leave us in a place of future tripping.....just making stuff up or just accepting what others are throwing out for public consumption and then running around acting like it's reality. The stuff that is being thrown around is at best speculation/imaginations/guesses and at worst, just out right PROPAGANDA designed to manipulate and control others in an attempt to achieve a desired goal.
Cheap Trick no longer shows up that often on my iPod, but today when I had a chance to slow down and take a deep breath and attempt to re-gain a place a peace for my mind and my spirit I ended up at youtube and for some reason I pulled up Cheap Trick's Dream Police. This song along with the song that immediately follows helped me find that place again by helping me recognise why I had become so agitated this morning. I know....it's a weird thing sometimes what the Spirit uses to give us what we need to bring us back after having allowed something drag us away. But hey, I'll take it. And it feels like I'm over the funk.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I'm tired this evening so I'm going to let Paul, Jacques, and Richard say what's been on my heart in recent days as I have listened to countless conversation full of people making wild assumptions about other people they don't even know.
These guys do a much better job than I can at expressing it.
This first excerpt is from the chapter Here Come Da Judge from The Shack.
Sophia has just said to Mack...."You will be the Judge!"
The knot in his stomach returned as he realized what she had said. Finally, he dropped his eyes to the chair that stood waiting for him, "What? Me? I'd rather not," he paused, "I don't have any ability to judge."
"Oh, that is not true," returned the quick reply, tinged now with a hint of sarcasm. "You have already proven yourself very capable, even in our short time together. And besides, you have judged many thoughout your life. You have judged the actions and even the the motivations of others, as if you somehow knew what those were in truth. You have judged the color of skin and body language and body odor. You have judged history and relationships. You have even judged the value of a person's life by the quality of your concept of beauty. By all accounts, you are quite well practiced in the activity." Paul Young
"Freedom excludes suspicion. A choice must be made here with no compromise or half measures. If I think I am free in Christ, I can have no suspicion of others and must break with Freud, Marx, and Nietzsche. If there is freedom only in the reciprocity of love, I must lay down all weapons. This is the act of freedom. A choice has to be made. I can advance with all my equipment and analyze the other sociologically and psychologically. I can pin him down and dissect him like a butterfly. But if I do, I lose my own freedom and shut myself in the circle of his determinations. I can do this or I can advance in freedom. A choice which is both intellectual and vital must be made here." Jacques Ellul
This is from Hope Against Darkness by Richard Rohr.
"If you don't get forgiveness, you're missing the whole mystery. You are still living in a world of meritocracy, of quid-pro-quo thinking, a world of performance and behavior that earns an award. Forgiveness is the great thawing of all logic and reason and worthiness. It is the melting into the mystery of God as unearned love, unmerited grace, the humility and powerlessness of a Divine Lover. Forgiveness is the beginning, the middle and the end of the whole Gospel, as far as I can see.
Without radical and rule-breaking forgiveness-----received and given----there will be no reconstruction of anything. It alone breaks down our damnable world of trying to buy and sell grace. Grace is certainly the one gift that must always be free, perfectly free----to work. Without forgiveness there will be no future. We have hurt one another in too many historically documented and remembered ways. The only way out of the present justified hatreds of the world is grace."
For me this seems only possible when I know and live in the awareness of His never failing grace and love for me. When I understand that, there is no other way of living that makes sense.