GOD'S MYSTERIOUS WAYS

Over the past two days I have had several moments where the thought of attempting to tell this story here on my blog has popped up only for me to put it down. But here I am now attempting to do just that. Maybe it will help someone? It's just a bit of a story of how God used a personal trip to Oregon and The Shack in ways I couldn't possibly have been aware of at the time.

This all began stirring in me as I was re-reading Chapter 2 The Gathering Darkness yesterday. It took me back to the trip I made to Oregon in the spring of 2005. As I was reading the story again, a few of the places mentioned in the book were places I had visited on that trip. I had driven through Gresham where the author lives, while on my way from Portland to the little town of Sandy where I would spend the next 4 days. This was during the time William P Young had just begun to type this story into his computer. Shortly after he finishes the book he ends up sending it to my friend Wayne, after someone told him that they thought the story needed to be published. Wayne would then send the manuscript to me as an attachment to an email 8 months later, during the height of a darkness that had began to gather while I was in Oregon. All of it still to this day has such a feeling of connectedness for me.

I know there have been some that have been a bit annoyed by what they have felt was a hyper focus on this book. I've never felt that myself but maybe it was just because of how this whole story has played out in my life? But for me I see God in it all, working out a purpose in my life and my family, and the ripples created by it all continue to this days to spread out and touch others.

I will never forget the trip to Oregon. Or the two phone calls from my wife while I was there, as fear began to grow in her heart and mind about a relationship that had just begun right before I left on this trip and would continue to spiral out of control for the remainder of that year. I'll never forget the trip one day with my friend Don who lives in Sandy. We saw that day the breath-taking views of the Columbia River Gorge and many waterfalls including Multnomah Falls. We drove on remote mountain roads with deep ruts, roads that were only wide enough for one vehicle to pass. We explored deep into the dark forests of the Oregon mountains that day. I even remember seeing a couple old abandoned shacks while making our way around the mountain. On that day they meant nothing to me, but that would soon change.

8 months later, back at home, during a time when my world had been turned upside down, a story that takes place in the deep forests of Oregon in a shack near where I had been, shows up in my inbox. This is why much of what I have describe over the past couple years has had a lot of references to The Shack. It came to me as I was in the middle of living out some pretty dark fears of being a father of three beautiful girls and the dangers they face living in this world. So I too faced many fears as I walked along side Mack, as we walked along side Papa, Jesus and Sarayu. I began to see things through a prism of love instead of prism of fear. A prism of grace and mercy and forgiveness instead of a prism of guilt and shame and judgement. I began to accept things as they are and stopped living in denial thinking I could control it all and that I was suppose to. I began to find a space where fears began to be pushed away and trust in God began to grow. Not some cheap empty exercises in saying that I trusted him...but the tangible manifestations of real trust rising up from inside me.

I had come to the end of my ability to make it work and to hold it all together in that moment in my life and saw clearly I could not carry it all any longer, nor did I want to even attempt to. It was the scariest thing I had ever faced. And out of that mess, everything I had ever wanted began to emerge and to this very day continues to grow.

But at that time, especially at the beginning of it all, I had no clue what was going on and I say that to maybe give some hope to others who find themselves in a time when things feel like they are falling apart. Maybe they are...maybe it is God that has sneaked up on you and is at work to set you free from things that are standing in the way? He does work in mysterious ways and more often than not we might not ever see coming...what is coming. I think it is all about him inviting us into something new. To step away from the old ways of thinking and responding. You are the object of his affection, don't think for a minute that he is not at work in you and in the circumstance you find yourself today.

It turns out that in our moments of deepest pain and confusion, if we don't run from them but we face them, many wonderful things can happen and surprise us. It also becomes apparent that most of us have been shaped to do the very opposite of what is needed. I remember so often in the past, hearing Christians around me blaming moments like these on things we were always encouraged to run from or to "fix". It all turns out to be horrible advice. Father, Son, and Spirit are here to help us walk through it so we can find freedom from our own great sadness and from paralyzing fears that so often hold us captive.