Friday, May 02, 2008

CHANGE MIGHT SEEM SLOW...BUT DON'T FORGET IT'S STILL CHANGE

Last year I spent very little time in my garden. Come to find out it was another season of transition for myself. I didn't know at the time how much it all tied into expectations and responsibility being worked out of my life and how so many things I had lived doing, actually stood in the way of myself entering God's rest. Today it all seems so much more clear. I'm enjoying the garden in a way that I have never before. Kinda like everything else. I had prided myself (first mistake) on the fact that I was a very responsible person. Turns out I was just obsessed with being in control. Turns out, the control I


thought I had was just an illusion. Turns out it wasn't as good of a thing as I had led myself to believe. This change was slow in coming. But it came all the same.
I'm learning that entering the rest God has invited us into is one of the ways this transition takes place. As long as we are striving and scrambling to make it happen it probably won't happen. Especially if that striving and scrambling is in an attempt to earn favor with God. To "get it right." That's what my hyper responsible nature had led me to. It's what determined how I gardened also. It turns everything into work and usually everything into a competition. It bled over into every area of my "purpose driven" life. I'm glad to say that a purpose still remains a part of my life but the driven part is gone. The driven part was antithetical to living in God's rest.




So, last year at this time I wasn't taking many pictures of my garden. This year I am photographing it everyday and I am once again amazed by it all, yet seeing it all through eyes like never before. There's no expectations attached to it any longer. I'm just enjoying it for what it is.
Last year I was singing the song Beautiful Change by The Innocence Mission with much expectancy. Today I am simply grateful for the change that has been set in motion.
"Oh I'm going to find some peace of mind.
At any time I could change, any day,
a beautiful change."
















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