Many months ago my friend Rick sent me information about Baxter Kruger's book The Parable of The Dancing God and I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to it. If I remember right it was shortly after The Shack came out and he thought I would like it. Today it all makes me think of the perfect timing of God. A few months ago Rick linked to a few audio messages of Baxter's on my friend Rob's site. Now those I immediately listened to and was just so blessed, challenged and they ended up being so confirming to the process that has been unfolding in my life in a tangible way over the past few years.
So many of the disorienting things that were so much a part of the season in my life beginning back in the Spring of 05 were just a part of the process Jesus was inviting me into with himself and the Father and the Spirit. 05 was about allowing all that I had believed in and had been working hard to hang onto to come crashing down around me. I remember so clearly the urge I was feeling to hang on to beliefs that I had grown up with and until Thanksgiving Day of that year I grasped onto what I had known as hard as I could and like sand it slipped through my fingers. Jesus is so gracious that way.
I stood alone with no support, isolated from everyone and everything I had been and believed up to that point. Well, I did have Wayne Jacobsen. Wayne actually was ready to make a last minute trip to St. Louis to be with me and my family during the most scary period of it all with our daughter. Her personal struggle that came into full view on Thanksgiving Day was the bookend to the death I had been dying that whole year. Turns out I ended up somehow with enough courage at the last minute to inform Wayne that his trip at that time was not necessary. He waited until April to come be with us and a few other people here in the area. It was around that time he sent me the manuscript of the book he and Brad were working on with Paul. Not only did the One I had felt inviting me into something so new and different come into clearer view, I really saw for the very first time in my life, God as Father and the ever tangible presence of the Spirit. Nothing since that time has remained the same.
So now enters Baxter Kruger. The Perichoresis 101 series that I linked to a few posts ago is so worth the time to listen. Today I listened to the podcast of his called Who is Jesus? To access it you have to become a member at Perichoresis. It is a free membership and it gives you access to some resources available on their site. This is what I have been awakening to over the past few years and have been sharing here on my blog. For some reason all I've felt like I've had to give was my story and it is what I will continue to do on this blog as long as it continues to feel like the thing to do. Some lyrics, from one of my favorite bands Over The Rhine, come to mind as a way to close this out that expresses a hope of mine.
These lyrics are from their song Here It Is.
Some call it obsession
I call it commitment
I make my confession
I make it in public
I hope that it’s helpful
That others can use it
That it’s more than my ego
And my need to abuse it
WE ALL ARE INVITED INTO THIS MOST AWESOME COSMIC MYSTERY and it's not something to hoard away. It is to be shared.