Tuesday, June 03, 2008

OBSESSIONS WITH SELF-PRESERVATION

Obsessions with self-preservation
Faded when I threw my fear away
It's not a thing you can imagine

You either lose your fear
Or spend your life with one foot in the grave

While listening to Over The Rhine this morning while driving to work I was reminded of some of the changes in thinking that I was walking through when Drunkard's Prayer arrived in my mailbox back in the Spring of 05. I had no idea what was coming. I loved this song musically but a few of the lyrics ticked me off. See, I was fighting something the Spirit had begun haunting me with. I was in a fight internally with a Christian World View that I just couldn't defend any longer but every other option I could think of just seemed naive. The chorus had that ring of naivety to me at the time.

Sleep with one ear close to the ground
And wake up screaming
When we lay our cold weapons down
We'll wake up dreaming

Well, it turns out that the hound of heaven won me over during the next several months and this song was a part of that process. Today standing where I stand makes the old world view seem naive. Personally I found out that there is no peace to be found in relationships when that old world view is in place. The old world view is shaped by fear and self-preservation. There are a lot of scapegoats wandering around there also. I had been caught up in fighting everybody in one way or another. My sleep through those years wasn't very restful. I'm sleeping much more soundly these days. It turns out that the hound of heaven had already got to Over The Rhine regarding these realities. They helped me by pestering me with this profound song.

Only love can turn this around
I wake up dreaming
Everything we've lost can be found
We'll wake up dreaming

LISTEN TO Spark Here (and much more) This is a live version and I think this is beautiful.

1 comment:

Tina said...

That is one of my very favorite OTR songs. It pops into my head at times when I really don't want it to, though. Like when I want to be right, recognized, safe, etc.
That self-preservation thing is so hard to shake. But transforming love is taking hold more each day. As the love roots deeper, fear has no place. I love that.

Thanks for a great song reminder.