I'm so fascinated with human behavior. I'm fascinated that we all are so very unique and that leaves each of us with very unique experiences. But at the same time we all are in the same boat trying to learn to live with other unique individuals...hopefully in harmony. That is, I want to believe that at least some of us are seeking to live in harmony with each other.
For 18 year myself and my wife lived bouncing off each other in the dance we began on the day we met. Over the years it just became more and more complicated with the addition of children, more and more responsibilities to hold the home together, and more damage and pain caused by our inability to communicate. We can laugh today at the fact that we both pretty much had only heard the unintelligible noises of Charlie Brown's teacher coming from each other during those years. But it took some time for that laughter to arrive...those years were painful...but still we were able to find a love and a life to share. Who knows how we survived it in today's culture were more than half the marriages don't survive? Maybe it was just luck. I do know this about my attitude through it all and I think it is safe to say this is true for Julie also...we had made a promise to each other on the day we exchanged vows and we didn't want to break that. And since we felt like this was for life we both had to decide whether we wanted the rest of life to suck and be full of pain or whether we wanted to try to figure out how to live together in harmony. It's been a tough road but the tough road has produced many new deeper levels of love that had we given up neither of us would have experienced. It's all been worth the pain and arguments.
Three years ago Jesus began disarming me by letting me see how blind I had been as a husband, father, and friend. Owning our own crap and letting go of all of the blaming of the other can be the beginning of a beautiful change and in our family it was. The dance is getting much better. Hang in there friends.
Enough from me now, here's Baxter. There's something in this for both those still working at it and those who have suffered the pain of broken relationships.