We headed out on Saturday last week for a wedding on Sunday. We stayed in Springfield Saturday and Sunday night and had the opportunity to spend some time with Rob and Robin Horton and Scott and Susan Griffith over dinner at the Horton's home. We had a wonderful time with them even though it was too short of a time. During dinner Scott told me that he thinks of me often due to his role as a father raising daughters that are younger than mine. He actually said he wonders quite often "What would Kent do in this situation?"....which I found very funny. I'm just winging it Scott.
This weekend wearing my hat as a father could be described as Beauty and The Beast. This weekend the same description works for my three daughters also. Let's just say that their behavior from Saturday evening through Sunday morning sent me into micro-managing mode, something I haven't done in quite awhile. Something I really never want to do again. I used to live there and I'm not going back. Scott, it wasn't pretty. But my oh my did I ever feel justified while in the midst of their ugly behavior with one another and a couple other people involved in the weekend. That is until I could see how my reactions to their behavior was cutting through them also and creating something I never want them to feel coming from me.
I have a lot to learn when it comes to helping them out of a cycle that is all too familiar due to the reality that they see it being employed by most people they come into contact with in this world. People hurting other people by just being mean. This weekend it just set me off because none of them would respond to my attempts to get them to down shift and change course. One was threatening to just shut down and refuse to be in the wedding which I knew would haunt her for the rest of her life because she has waited for this wedding to happen for many years. Other than reminding her of how much she would regret it at a later date all I could tell her was that it was her choice to make...I would not force her to do it.
And out of the chaos Sunday morning a few moments of grace emerged. A couple of the individuals involved decided to make a move towards others they had offended and hurt in an attempt to make it right. All I said to the one that had been threatening to be a hold out was this: "Now the ball is in your court. Will you accept their move and in turn make a move towards them?" Within minutes there were hugs of forgiveness being shared all around and laughter and joy replaced the screeching and ugliness that had consumed everyone beginning the night before.
How is it that we all have had these two drastically different experiences on countless occasions and we all hate how the one makes us feel and how it leaves others feeling and we all love how we and other are left feeling while experiencing the other and yet we so easily gravitate to the ugliness and often refuse to change course? That's what left me so pissed off during the chaos of the weekend. And yet I learned once again my anger is no help at all in helping others see a more better way.
The wedding was beautiful and all the girls looked beautiful and if grace had not won out in the end this hilarious fun memorable moment would have never happened.
Two of the three in the pink dresses are mine. Amie, my oldest, who was also in the wedding is standing in the back with a friend of hers. The bouquet goes right through Amie's hands and Ellie plows through to come away with the prize.
Scott, once again I came face to face with the reality that this is all about grace.