How do we move forward so as to move out of the nightmare that so often plays out on an all too common basis and most often spells the end of relationships? Am I completely off the farm in thinking that the essence of Creation was about relationship? Relationship with the One that created us and us living in relationship with that which He created?
I've watched in the past year and a half, just in my place of work, three relationships go from.....what seemed to be loving commitment to one another and a common purpose, to the most surprising bizarre reversals that ended those relationships. Then I watched the three people in these work situations, that made such drastic reversals and chose to walk away from the relationships, create such wild stories (at least from my perspective) to explain what happened...at least according to their perceptions. And then I watched one by one, as each one would leave, they would join with the other one that left before them to form what seemed to be a "club of validation".
All three of these situations from what I observed began when suspicion of others (relational breakdown due to the fact that their expectations weren't being met) was allowed to take root and nurtured in such a way that caused the suspicions to grow out of control. The other common denominator seemed to be about self preservation....looking out for self first. I'm convinced that as long as self-preservation stays intact, throwing the "other/s" under the bus will remain an all too common practice. All of this leads me to this quote that I've posted here a few times before.
"Freedom excludes suspicion. A choice must be made here with no compromise or half measures. If I think I am free in Christ, I can have no suspicion of others and must break with Freud, Marx, and Nietzsche. If there is freedom only in the reciprocity of love, I must lay down all weapons. This is the act of freedom. A choice has to be made. I can advance with all my equipment and analyze the other sociologically and psychologically. I can pin him down and dissect him like a butterfly. But if I do I lose my own freedom and shut myself in the circle of his determinations. I can do this or I can advance in freedom. A choice which is both intellectual and vital must be made here." Jacques Ellul
The latest God Journey Podcast tackled what I see today as the only way out of this dark alley we find ourselves on. And it's why very few choose to go this way. Operating out of our own strength, from our ego, it is impossible. I think it was Wayne Jacobsen that spoke the words/reality that usually accompanies those who choose to walk the path of love and sacrifice, as Jesus did...the only path that leads out of the "battle royal cage match" humans are caught up in. Let's just say, at times that road will produce situations that just feel unbearable.
4 comments:
Kent. How weird. This is the third blog post I read today that was about relationships/friendships with others. The correlation between these blog posts are somewhat amazing. Friendships that are lost, broken and shattered, and friendships that are hard to find, such as a person who is in it not just for himself but for the other. I find that relationships are utterly overwhelming and can really take a tow on ones life, especially if a close friendship has been ruined. I have been through a rough time with a close friend of 20 years that is now seems to be non-existent. Is is possible that Father will allow people to be a part of ones life for only a certain time? I tend to think so. However, that is a lot for me to swallow! I want to focus on what was positive in the relationship rather than on what made it disappear. Its hard to understand why things happen the way they do, but maybe, just maybe they were meant to be this way.
Just pondering!
In Freedom, Nicole!
I'm learning that different relationships teach me different things about myself. Most of the time it's something I may not necessarily want to know, but need to know in order to move ahead--to grow as a person.
Sometimes growing seems too painful to submit to--but then, it's too worth it not to!
Yes Nicole, I get the sense that sometimes relationships might just be for a limited amount of time. I just hate it when they turn hurtful.
And yet Carolyn brings up a wonderful point...often it is in difficult/painful experiences that the greatest growth happens.
Absolutely!
I think through my experiences with the friendships that have gone sour, has not only been a painful experience but a growing and learning experience that has challenged me beyond compare. I know that is a big reason why Father allows some things to take place, so that he knows that through the worst, we will learn the greatest lessons about who we are and where Father wants to take us. Praise Him!
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