Monday, September 28, 2009


A few years ago felt like a new beginning for me. To say the rug that I had been standing on for 42 years got pulled out from under me seems to be a perfect description of what happened. It set in motion an experience that was both painful and healing all at once due to paradigms shifting. Paradigms that are worlds apart.

Expectations and freedom were very much at the center of the transformation that began to take place and still continues to this day. I had lived my entire life up to that season in the realm of expectation. I had also lived my entire life up to that season having no idea what freedom was nor had I ever experienced it.

Expectations seem to me to be something of this realm we find ourselves in and they seem to be sworn enemies of freedom. Expectations have to do with feeling a sense entitlement...being owed something. The freedom I speak of has to do with a life that resides inside me...a life that doesn't seem to play the entitled game at all. This life also seems to not be all that interested in "winning" according to how the world defines winning.

Expectations set us up to defend turf that we have claimed as ours and that to me seems to be an activity of this world of chaos we find ourselves in. The examples are all around us and we experience the decay and pain and what seems to be a deadendedness of that world everyday. I see nothing in Jesus (the life that is in me) that makes him look like a defender of turf...Except for LOVE that is, if we can call love turf. It might not be considered turf in this world, but in his it is.

Jesus is not a good gamble if it is success in this world we are after. His gig doesn't seem to position us well for the world's game of power and manipulation. A game that will leave us selling out our neighbors, our friends, even family, whether of blood or of spirit, when the cost of loving them becomes too high.

I have people tell me all the time in conversations, that what I have just described to them about living expectation free is not possible. They say if we don't place expectations on people and hold them accountable to those expectations people will just run all over us. Which always makes me think of Jesus saying "Turn the other cheek." Turning the other cheek isn't a good strategy to keep from getting hit again, but it speaks loudly of something I long for...the person who can do that is free....JESUS FREE.

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