I watch it in my teenage daughters and their friends and it begins with the game of comparison. And I see how it has carried over into the lives of the adults around me. Shame keeps us feeling that everyone else has something cooler than we have. It also drives unhealthy relationships with the opposite sex because it keeps us looking to others to do something that they can't do and that will always lead us to the game of manipulation and control of others and a willingness to allow others to use, manipulate, and control us. We won't ever find freedom from the inadequate feelings that shame leaves us with, through other shame driven activities. But the lie that these feelings will be eradicated if we are able to find the right combination "out there" inevitably will continue to distract us from the healthy solution...To be our ordinary selves and to find peace and love there because the truth is, it's in our ordinariness that our uniqueness is displayed, once shame is displaced from our lives by love.
"Shame is the unfortunate inheritance of humanities captivity in sin. You were born with her whispering in your ear. Until you find freedom from her in Father's love she will, like a cancer, sink her tentacles into everything you think or do."
"But when you find your security in the awesome love of God, her voice is unmasked. No longer do you have to play her games by worrying about what others think. Then you'll really know what it is to live as God's child in the earth."
"Jesus didn't want to use my shame to spur me to do greater things, he wanted to set me free from it."
"Discovering how much Father loves you will increasingly set you free to walk without shame, before God and with other people. Though shame restrains people from sin under the law, in Christ it no longer holds any purpose."