Monday, February 08, 2010


Having let go the old program of attempting to get everyone in the family on the same page, has been a necessary move. I would rather live with the chaos if need be in order for love and grace to capture the hearts of all involved. The absence of harmony is not due to the lack of conformity...harmony is lost if conformity is achieved and forever detoured by the program enforced to achieve it.

There is an absolute necessity for an environment of freedom and if that does not exist...everything remains legalistic and that has never served any of us when it comes to us being set free.

Part of learning to live with one another in grace, in an environment of freedom, is learning that to each and every moment people need to be allowed to bring all they've got. But the environment most live in never allows them to live in that kind of honesty. And in the attempt to force people to act otherwise, we end forcing on them one of two bad options... hypocrisy or rebellion.

I have no control over what others are bring to the party. But the way I live with them does matter and can make a tremendous difference in the other's life.

"I have experienced immense patience, tolerance, and mercy from many of my friends. They put up with my failures and idiosyncrasies, and eventually know that some of my patterns will never even change. They often accept me as I am, and learn to love me as I am— which eventually almost indirectly changes me! Every good parent knows that unmerited love creates love-in-return. Grace creates gracious people. But not our god! God, and the history of religion, seem to prefer mandates, coercion, blame, and shame to achieve some kind of supposed transformation. This is quite helpful for social order and control of the immature. I really understand that, but it is quite clear to me in the later years of my life, that God does not love me if I change, but God loves me so that I can change. That is an entirely different agenda." Richard Rohr

1 comment:

zinger said...

Yup something I still need to work, on conformity is something that I've always desired and rarely acheived. Loved your quote on freedom being an environment where people need to be allowed to bring all the stuff they got to the table not just the stuff you want to hear... Sigh

Bye the way took the family to see the Olympic Torch yesterday it passed by 5 minutes from our house. Will post on Facebook this afternoon..