Monday, June 14, 2010

THE LIGHT AND DARK


This evening I took a walk out behind the house, into the common ground area of our neighborhood. Parents and children, especially teenagers and young adults, and the treacherous season that can be, was on my mind. Many of you know of the scary moment that happened in our family a few years ago, and of the change it set in motion for ...myself and my wife, and how we would from that moment on, live with our daughters. It actually changed how I live with everyone.

One of the things that changed for me was that I was freed from the life defined by my family needing to be braggable, based upon behavior. My perspective changed drastically during that time and I began to see that my family was braggable, not because we were perfect/ly masked but because we began to learn to be real and honest. Life is messy. Every one's life is messy. What began to happen, and much of it began to play out in the salon with my clients, and here online, was other parents began to open up and share with me their stories of struggle with their teenagers and how their attempts to gain control over their kids just seemed to be driving them farther away. I've been so blessed by being invited into these lives and hopefully they have been also by allowing someone else in.

I came home tonight from the walk under the beautiful sky, as the day gave way to night, and waiting for me was an email from a scared parent of a teenager. They had seen the video I had posted of the young lady sending a message to her dad who had been for her what she needed most during those confusing turbulent years. They had been encouraged by it and it had given them some hope for their situation. Hopefully my words to them were also a source of comfort.

If I could only say one thing to parents of teenagers, it would be this...don't ever underestimate the power of grace. And don't ever underestimate the power of opening up and sharing your story. It might just be the thing that opens the door for someone else caught up in their own scary situation to tell theirs. And through it all...mess and all...you might just begin to see something beyond what is presently visible and realize how beautiful it still is...and braggable when it comes to the things that really matter...A beautiful life perfectly in process.

The Spirit helped me begin to see how much my years of teenage struggle were a big part of making me who I am today. And the same will be true for our children.See More

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