"Without radical and rule-breaking forgiveness-----received and given----there will be no reconstruction of anything. It alone breaks down our damnable world of trying to buy and sell grace. Grace is certainly the one gift that must always be free, perfectly free----to work. Without forgiveness there will be no future. We have hurt one another in too many historically documented and remembered ways. The only way out of the present justified hatreds of the world is grace."
I thought of this comment by Richard Rohr this morning while I was thinking upon the painful dysfunctional interaction going on between my 3 daughters. They just seem to be at this time stuck in the hurts created by the wrongs done to one another...many of them actual wrongs mostly due to the all too common view that everyone should cater to their individual expectations. Regardless of whether it is my daughters or anyone else...or even nations for that matter...the attempts to get others to serve our expectations so that it all is revolving around us the way we desire it to, will only produce conflicts on top of conflicts that will go on and on unless someone steps out of the game and forgives and offers grace instead. And yes...there is no way around the reality that grace often gets trampled under foot by those hell bent on having it their way and have no qualms about using power over others to make it happen. That makes it a hard sell to a teenager. It's actually a hard sell to anyone. Dare I say, an impossible one? All of this is difficult enough within the context of personal relationships, but it all seems all that more impossible in the realm of business and nation states. But regardless of the realm, the outcome is always the same...people get hurt. We all get hurt and damaged.
What makes all of this even more frustrating is that much of what drives these kind of things is the dysfunction created out of false perceptions and than the false emotional responses that follow along with the attempts to control one another through all kinds of manipulations that only serve in keeping the cycle going, further deepening the pain.
I'm just rather sensitive to this crap right now and sick of the pain that travels with it. But grace and love still compel to stay in it...available and engaged, and to refuse to pick the weapons back up that I had grown all too accustomed too during the time I myself was caught up in the lie that made it all seem like the best way to go.