Life...in all it's twists and turns is a mystery for sure. Turns out the way we respond to it makes all the difference. Last night while celebrating the closing of one chapter and the turning of the page to another adventure, I randomly stumbled upon something that brought this song from the past to mind. The bar we were in happened to have some old album covers on the wall. REO Speedwagon's You Can Tune A Piano But You Can't Tuna Fish was one of them. It has to be going on 25 years since I've heard these guys. The song Roll With The Changes came to mind. Music is such a powerful thing. Even though it's been many years, I saw that cover last night and there was this feeling that rose up inside me that felt so familiar. This morning I went to youtube and pulled up the song. The feeling that came over me was very familiar...past and present.
The changes this song spoke of to me back all those years ago, just happened most of the time to do with disappointment. When I was young, my life was full of expectations...mostly frustrated expectations. Often they had to do with relational struggles with girls. In other reoccurring moments they had to do with fear, guilt and shame caused by internal struggles brought on by religion. Some other times it was looking forward to the passing of a particular season, maybe school, maybe farming season, maybe a confrontational relationship with my dad or siblings or friends. I grew to want change on one hand and hate change on the other. I was fighting so hard to make things work out the way I wanted them to be. It took 42 years to learn that was a terrible way to attempt to walk through this world. There was no rolling with the changes. I had turned into someone who had become caught up in trying to force change (mostly on others) and often in myself. Turns out I was a horrible change maker and all the while the changes that were happening were rolling over me. Actually stomping on me. I've come to believe that most of the pain we experience ourselves and cause to others, when we are younger (well, sadly, most carry it all their lives) really has to do with a need for certainty and predictability, all attached to us getting our way, when life is rather made up of uncertainty and unpredictability.
At 42 I turned a page. I'm a little thick and slow :-) Some older folks have pointed out to me that 42 is pretty young for such a thing to happen. Maybe so, but in my heart I hope my daughters get there before I did.
This morning when I heard this song it brought a smile to my face and tears also. Tears of joy and amazement. These words are profound and full of the simple reality that helps us turn the page and it also speaks to the pain of the process and the hope that remains for those who press through until the page is turned.
To make the break that we are on the brink of
My cup is on the table, my love is spilling
Waiting here for you to take and drink of
So if you're tired of the same old story
Oh, turn some pages
I will be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes, yeah, yeah
I knew it had to happen, felt the tables turnin'
Got me through my darkest hour
I heard the thunder clappin', felt the desert burnin'
Until you poured on me like a sweet sunshower
I'm no longer caught up in certainty, nor do I long for predictability. Now it's possible to roll with that wind amidst all the changes.