I don't know how this transformation stuff happens....other than moments of revelation/epiphany/awakening. I don't know how much of what we read or hear others say plays into that. I know in my own life the most transforming moment came during a phone conversation with a friend. He didn't even say anything all that profound or deep. It was just a moment when the curtain was pulled back and a gift arrived that enabled me to see more clearly my own personal falsity and it set in motion the changing of everything.
But I certainly do appreciate good writing that can describe these moments in ways that confirm what has happened. And I appreciate good conversation with people who are present and care. If we find ourselves stuck in dead barren places, can reading such things and having such conversations help move us along towards the day when the blockage is released that releases us? I don't know? Today looking back over my life there are things that have just in the past few years become reality that I now remember being shared with me over 20 years ago. Things that back then made sense in my head at the time but the reality of their tangible presence in my life would wait years before becoming real to me. Did the hearing of it way back then play a part? Again I don't know. I've come to believe the not knowing is just an important part of it all. Mystery is good. Moments of revelation/epiphany/awakening are gift, and those moments rarely ever happen in the kind of places we have been led to believe they happen, and they have a way of just leaving you grateful for their arrival and very aware of the reality that it all had nothing to do with your doing.
"The beauty of the gift is the secret way it awakens us to growth. Without alerting our anxiety or forcing confrontation, the gift has placed us on the path of change almost before we realize it. And much of the change in our lives happen through struggle and pain. We are confronted with an unattractive direction that we have to take. For weeks or months we have to travel through limbo; the comfort and security of our familiar belonging lies far behind us. Where we will belong next has not yet become clear. The days become a struggle of endurance. Yet when the light and the ease return, we recognize the change that has been achieved. The gift bequeaths change in a completely different way. Quickly it undoes the knots of false netting that had us entangled and before we have time to realize what has happened, we find ourselves released into a new fluency. Like a parent to the soul, the gift carries us carefully over torn ground until our feet stand free in a serene place where we can recognize that we have been blessed." ~~~ John O'Donohue