Tonight while out under the end of the day sky, alone, there was a bit of a tug of war in play. It's been a day that could be described as the full spectrum of human experience. Mel was doing better this morning then his body went septic and had a turn for the worse, then the kidney dialysis began to work and he began to do better again later in the day. This is going to be a rough go for him and Theresa and Tyson. I spent several different moments on the phone with our daughters who were having their melt-downs while they were in Springfield caring for Mel and Theresa's son and trying to pack the things he needed so they could bring him back here to stay with us. And Julie called a few times for encouragement as she is still there at the hospital in Indiana in the heat of the fluid stressful situation and having to begin to face a long drive alone tomorrow to come back home for work tomorrow night on very little sleep. While sitting out there, all of things things were fresh in my mind.
It was a good idea to head to the hilltop this evening.
I often wonder how many people can relate to the feelings I have while out in the landscape under the cosmos? It really is all at the same time, both freaky and magnificent. The outside natural world has been completely fused with the inner presence of belonging, the kingdom of heaven/the eternal, inside me. As the sun made her decent towards the horizon, her light sent beams reaching through the clouds both into the heavens and down to earth and created a feeling of there being nowhere any of us can go that somehow places us outside the embrace...the nearness of the Divine Presence. I guess in a sense that somewhat answers my question above. Most people seem to struggle when it comes to knowing they are being constantly embraced and that God is near them at all times. As for myself, I sense it everywhere, especially when I am out where the natural world is visible. It's something that should be a constant reminder of the Creator's care for us and the wasteful extravagance of it all. WE ARE LOVED.
So those two competing realities were what created the tug of war this evening. We can't escape either one of them no matter how hard we might try. We don't get out of this world without having to tangle with both.
With that being true, here's my encouragement. I know most of you are already struggling with the chaos in varying forms that is this world of uncertainty. I know that. I see it all the time. I'm less certain though at this time of how serious the wrestling is with the Divine. No one can do this for us other than ourselves. Unfortunately many put that wrestling off towards the end of their lives or until some devastating storm comes bearing down of them and strips them of their illusions of control. Why do we avoid it for so long? I avoided it for all those years in religion. Others avoid it in other ways. When all the while, it's this wrestling with the Divine that can calm the storm created by this world of uncertainty. We are already caught up in that struggle unwisely thinking we can gain control over it when we can't. It just makes good sense to at least explore the invisible realm and to look deep inside ourselves towards our inner life to see what kind of calm is waiting to be awakened there. The trustworthiness of the elements and the cosmos can help us with that.
While out this evening parts of this video clip kept coming to mind.